Do you ever find yourself wondering “What ever happened to the giganto-sized boulder from the opening scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark?” I do. In fact, it keeps me up at night. Pepe’s story (I call it Pepe because it’s from Peru and because no one ever stopped to ask its name) is a sad, lonely, disappointing tale. His sole responsibility is protecting the idol inside his ill-maintained cave (come on, Pepe, take a weekend to clear out the cob webs and endless rotting treasure-hunter remains) which has served as his home for thousands of years. And what happens as soon as someone gets close enough to try? Pepe is too slow to catch up and fails at the only job he ever had. Don’t judge, though, it’s not Pepe’s fault. There was no Pilates, Billy Blanks or Thigh Master in 1936 telling him to get up off his perch and exercise every once in few hundred years! And the sad, over-sized, under-fit sediment is stuck blocking the entrance to the hole where his prized Golden Idol once sat, never again getting the chance to squash would-be thieves. Tear.

But, the other day, I came across vindication for poor Pepe the Peruvian Boulder. It seems Pepe’s cousins have had much more success in squashing the puny human intruders.  A distant relative clan, the Guardian Rocks, have awoken to protect the secrets of their now-past friendly tribesmen who build glorious temples for the Guardian Rocks to protect. But now, like poor Pepe, modern man infringes on their ancestral land leaving the Guardian Rocks with only one method of retaliation: squash the pesky meatbags!

Revisiting the golden age of art, romance, and 8-bit color graphics, Guardian Rock continues Pepe the Peruvian Boulder's saga by strategically crushing the surprisingly delicate human invaders while avoiding their shrewd tricks and defenses (explosives, spikes and cannonballs). Clear the temple of the puny, squishy intruders room by room and return the temple grounds to their sacred, historic serenity.

Guardian Rock is an arcade-like, puzzle game which follows a single stone defender as it vanquishes pesky treasure-hunters by strategically avoiding traps, tricks and blocking its own path. The naturally immobile rock moves only in one direction at a time and with all it’s force, crushing whatever might be so unlucky as to be in (or at the end of) it's path. "Think before you step" has never been a more appropriate paraphrased approach; one wrong step will scrap the whole level. Add-ons and 48 levels of expansion packs extend the meatbag smashing excitement to 96 levels. The recent release of the iPhone version helps alleviate the frustration of rush hour, mass-transit commute times. ("I squish you, silly person who thinks they can leave out the back exit. Front door only during rush hour!")